Lately, my frustration has come to it’s peak. For the past two days, I have been trying to upload a blog, but I simply cannot, I don’t know if there is an error with my computer or my internet service or whatever. I think it has to do with the internet, because when I tried to upload, it just wouldn’t load, and I tried reloading the page, which killed the page, and I lost everything. And being unable to upload frustrates me because I like to keep a schedule. I like to be on point, but this problem was out of my hands. Thankfully, I am now on track, and my frustration has ceased. I just hope it doesn’t come back, it clouds my mind and I feel uncomfortable.
The Evolution of Darkness.
Long ago, I was captivated by an idea. Ten or so years. And they have been quite long. But not long enough. Why I say time has not been my greatest ally is because I want more time, I want to further explore the inner workings of my mind. I am so young, 19 may be a number high into someone’s life. But considering how much I have lived, it’s not so much. And when you consider how much you have to live overall, it’s not enough to live. So, time is not our ally.
Regardless of the time I have lived, I couldn’t sit on the edge, waiting for the right time. For the perfect time to delve into my story. I couldn’t deal with bottling so much, I cannot. So, I started writing my book.
But I don’t want to talk about time and bottled thoughts. No, I wanted to talk about my mythos.
The Evolution of Darkness is a concept that intrigued me quite a lot. I have always admired darkness, the theme, the idea. So when it came to writing my book, I knew I wanted to portray my idea of darkness. I didn’t come up with my mythos before I started writing. I came up with the mythos once I had finished the book.
But what is “The Evolution of Darkness”? Simply put, it is the battle that leads to the cleansing of sin. The Crystal Tower: Edelix is the begging of the battle against the Darkness, although I do not delve deeply into the mythology behind the idea. The Crystal Tower: Edelix is, per say, an introduction. I want to introduce several concepts, and leave loose ends. Those loose ends I have left are not relevant to the plot line of The Crystal Tower: Edelix. Rather, they are there because some things I cannot reveal just yet. It would compromise a great legend. Instead, these loose ends are minor, they are not noticed, and therefore, will not hinder the story. But there are some loose ends that have a greater impact. These loose ends are meant, and they are there because I want to tie them in the sequels.
The Evolution of Darkness is something I believe to be astounding and rather intriguing. The whole tale is fixated on the idea that darkness is power, a power too great that can be the end of everything. But countering that darkness is light. I prefer darkness, however, but there must be hope, so there must be light. This battle is not only around Alex, the titular character in The Crystal Tower: Edelix, but in his heart as well. How this battle plays out is, for now, a mystery. And how this battle plays out around him, is the reason The Crystal Tower: Edelix is such fun. Some battles are over before they have begun, but some battles are so meaningful, the entire universe stands witness to the outcome. What that outcome will be…I have already decided.
This post is somewhat late, I’ve had it in my flash-drive for quite some time, however, the words I say remain as equal in passion as the night I wrote them.
I’ve been told that man do not cry. But how can I not when there are countless reasons to cry, maybe indefinite. My benign neglect to cry comes from those preaching’s, from those that have been ingrained on me by an idealist society. I say, why conform to society’s definition; why not break free from that norm? I will cry. And I will be the one to admit, I have cried.
Sometimes, the path we must take is filled with hardship, with obstacles, with obscene realities. But then again, are not all paths difficult? Endeavors for all of us to overcome. If a path if filled with turmoil, isn’t that path worth taking? I’ve heard the sky is clearer after the storm. Shouldn’t it apply to the paths we take? That once we emerge from those turbulent and obscure waters, we can see the bright light. The path will be difficult, so along the way, stop for a second, sit by a tree, and shed some tears, because shedding tears does not make us weak, it makes us stronger. And if we don’t shed tears, it doesn’t make us strong, it makes us heartless.
In lieu of recent events, the shooting in Connecticut, I’ve shed many tears, not as many as I should shed, but many none the less. The times we face are hard, they quell with our morale. That we remain strong is in our nature, we have always prevailed against injustice, tragedy, hardship. We are a great people, but we are also a society that crumbles on a daily basis. That we are falling apart is not far from my expectations, all greatness must end, so that greatness can start anew. But I refuse to resign my hopes, I will not give them up, because hope is the only reason I keep fighting, why I keep dreaming of a brighter day. We cannot allow hope to leave our hearts, because when we do, we release our essence, we release our will to move on. In these times, our will to move on is what will make us stronger. I know we can fight a little more, because that bright day is coming, and like all bright days, we will enjoy the warmth it brings, we will manage to remember the darkness that consumed us with bittersweet remorse, because from darkness, the light is born.
Sleep in peace, O angels that have left us.
I read somewhere that an addiction is something to frown upon. But O Lord help me, I am ADDICTED to coffee! I don’t know what it is, the intoxicating smell, the sweetness, the sheer joy of having a cup of coffee! I love this stuff!
I remember drinking coffee for a very long time. If I tried to pinpoint my very first cup of coffee, I would fail. I do remember it was in Mexico, and back then, I used to hate coffee. I was used to drinking hot chocolate before going to elementary. Now thinking back, I clearly distinguish how it seemed so soft my mother’s hot chocolate was. It was like velvet liquid running down my tongue. The joy of drinking my hot chocolate readied me for what was to come.
And then, I don’t remember drinking hot chocolate anymore. Perhaps I can pinpoint the demise of my love for hot chocolate when I came back to Elgin, IL. Then, I didn’t fancy milk anymore, I grew to dislike it. So no more hot chocolate for me. I tried coffee, without any milk or any of that jazz. Only black coffee and a couple spoonful’s of sugar. I remember even now how bitter the taste was. I didn’t like it. So for a long time, it was juice and water for me, nothing else.
When I moved to Atlanta, GA, I tried coffee once again, with milk to rid the bitter flavor. I sort of enjoyed it, but not as much. The taste of milk was always there, and I did not like it, it made me gag on occasions.
That’s when I discovered sweetened condensed milk. a convenient companion to coffee. The taste of milk was gone, and the effort to make coffee was less that it had ever been. I no longer had to add sugar, it was already in the sweetened condensed milk.
And alas, my love blossomed!
And another aspect of drinking coffee, it was a short family reunion, where my mother, sister and I sat at the table and drank coffee, talking about everything and anything. It was fun.
The small tradition evolved, we bought a water dispenser, and no longer did we have to boil water, we could simply press a button and have hot water ready for coffee, the need for a coffee machine was no longer a need, it was an inconvenience. So, having such a fancy machine, we were joined by my mother’s sisters and their children. We all enjoyed coffee together, talked and enjoyed the company. That’s something you just can’t help but enjoy.
Now, however, for me, coffee is a routine that I can’t get rid of. I need coffee while writing, or before. I can’t concentrate as well for whatever reason.
So this is my coffee addiction. I don’t think it was ever about the coffee, but the time spent with my family, that’s the reason I enjoy coffee, it brings back those memories, sweet and joyful, like a cup of coffee.
I will digress, I want one of those fancy coffee machines where you put the little plastic cup with flavored coffee, and BAM you have a personal cup of coffee much to your liking. I think I’m going to get one!
While this post does not limit the type of content I wish to share, it is what to be expected from upcoming blog posts.
I imagine a blog that shares many common aspects with other blogs, but also a blog that strives for content much different than is shared throughout the web. The daunting task, therefore, is striving for that goal. Maybe daunting is a little too harsh, but knowing myself, my drive to do the best I can, can sometimes push me over the edge.
So what can be expected? It is a plethora of options, endless possibilities, but most importantly, I want to further expand the universe I have created. So many details had to be removed, so many incidents throughout the world, Edelix.
Now, I am all for reading an eight hundred page book, but some might not want to do so. So in the best interest for readers, I cut some material out, nothing major, just things that did not have relevance or were of consequence to the main plot-line. Granted, these further insights will most definitely be fun reads and interesting all on their own.
Other blogs will relate more to my Mythos, The Evolution of Darkness. When I came up with this world, with this universe, I knew a simple mythology wouldn’t be enough, and enough would never satisfy me to the point where I could stand back and be glad. No, so much is out there, what better way to share it than through a mythos, through the idea that Darkness is ever evolving, ever changing. All of a sudden, no more was my universe concerning a mythology, but a gathering of different myths, all combined to one mythos, The Evolution of Darkness.
So, to further showcase Edelix, the universe, and everything in between, I want to share these insights with all who want to know a little more.
Apart from the mythos, I want to share other ideas, other insights, both personal and relating to others. I want to share my opinions, and I want to hear other opinions, a debate is always a good mental stimulant! There will be reviews, because hey, one of my favorite ways to waste my time is plying video-games, (although I will digress, I have not played console games in such a long time, I fear I lost my competitive touch!), there will be reviews regarding movies, and of course, literary works.
So all of these insights can be expected out of this blog, I hope you indulge in what is to come, I hope you enjoy the content, I do try my best. Regardless, I look forward to sharing.
And just as a side note, just to fully clarify, I again state, this in no way limits the type of content to come, I am always thinking of new ideas, and some may very well end up here!
This is a taste, the sip of the tongue on your glass of wine. It lets you know what you are dealing with, it lets you wonder what is to come.
And this is the road I have diligently walked on.
Not every aspect of rejection is the all-so-expected slap on the face. Yes, it is there, and for me, it hurt far more than I care to admit. But that slap made me see a whole different side. The one I had been avoiding because I was waiting for that slap on the face. It was there all along.
I’ve never been one to like school. To me, it was like being trapped in an institution where I didn’t want to be. But I kept up with it, I needed the basics.
The thought of going to college, however, changed my perspective. No longer was school an institution where I would feel condemned. No, alas, freedom was just in reach. College would take me places, places I desperately wanted to be.
But I still had that nagging feeling in my system. I wasn’t sure I would fit in. I thought I would, but I knew better. I was doomed. I was petrified. I was…overwhelmed.
So, in my best interest, I decided I needed a semester. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle what would come my way, even if I wanted to seem courageous and sure of myself. Sure, part of going to college is taking that leap of faith, and so many do, it amazes me the amount of courage they have. I just wasn’t comfortable taking that leap.
In no way do I feel like a coward, however, for not taking that leap. In no way whatsoever do I feel like I made a mistake, or do I regret the decisions I have made. They made me who I am, they still shape me to the man I will become. And I can say that proudly.
Many little realizations were made, like the amount of debt I would be under, time I would spend in classrooms and not in my laptop, writing about Alex and his journey across Edelix.
No, I could not allow that to torment me. I needed to get my mythos out of my mind, because of all the overwhelming elements in my life, it was by far the worst. I could not cope with anything, I could not think of anything BUT The Crystal Tower.
So again, in my best interest, I decided to write the beginning of what I had coped with for over a decade. I could not allow it to be bottled in my mind on a daily basis. I wanted release. And that release was too intoxicating, too exciting, too dominating. I was taking breaths for the first time in a long time. I was happy.
The road I have walked on is far more slippery than I have described, far more ragged and tormenting, but this is just a taste, a little sip of the wine…
More is to come…