writing without topic

I don’t have a topic in mind, but sometimes, you touch on some whilst writing away. That is what I am doing today. Just writing, not giving a rat’s ass about what comes to mind. I wanted to write a short story, again dealing with a character already presented in The Crystal Tower: Edelix, but nothing came to mind, and what did, I could not write about. I do have some great ideas, but the time isn’t right. I want to write stories set in the same universe that broaden the universe set in The Crystal Tower; Edelix, but I cannot broaden the universe at the time, it would give the plot away. Only when in have a set success will I do more, because then I would not spoil certain things for someone who has not read the book. Now, I do state in every short story set in the universe of The Crystal Tower: Edelix that the stories are independent, but I will not deliberately talk of an event further into the plot because I don’t want to spoil the course of events.

            As of now, I have not cut sales for the book. I am editing once more, and I just haven’t gotten to doing that yet. Procrastination maybe. But aside from that, this run-through of the story is coming along well. I am maturing the story, some things have been removed, while others remain. What once was a good book, is now better. I like the story written this way, mature, without lack of experience. I should be done relatively soon, but it is a process that takes time. The books I have sold are minimal, and I am relieved by this. My reason is my own.

            As for the kindle version of The Crystal Tower: Edelix, I have postponed work on it. I will resume the endeavor as soon as I am done with this edit. I have only briefly seen and read the steps to formatting for kindle. it seems somewhat intimidating, but I will tackle one step at a time. I really want to format for kindle, I feel it would be a major accomplishment, and a greater success.

            I guess this is all I have to say, I am distracted with the work set for me.

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A Not So Calm Sunday

I like expectations to be met. Period. Ask me to do a job, and I will do it, just give me expectations. I fear when I am not given expectations, my work is but mediocre half-attempts. I need a clear direction, else distraction betrays my brain. It is who I am, it is a quality I cannot rid myself of, it is a misfortune, but over all, it is a blessing.

I say needing expectations is a misfortune because someone who needs expectations to meet what is needed is not someone who can say otherwise. Per say, someone who does not need expectations, yet goes well beyond what is expected. That person would rival any that stand in his/her way, because meeting expectations and delivering high above without clear purpose (expectation wise), is more adept than someone who needs expectations to meet. This is not to say that someone who needs expectations cannot exceed high above, but in this society, someone who does not need expectations delivered frequently is in better chance of getting above the rest, to get the job.  It is the way things are, thus, I say, needing expectations is a misfortune.

Now, I say needing expectations if a blessing because once my expectations are set, I know I will give my all to seeing purpose set to stone. I will do what is asked, and I will deliver. As expected or high above.

But this blog is not about expectations, rather, it is about this past Sunday, February 17, 2013. I expected a relaxed day, one I could use to further the cause, (one I will not deliberate! More on that to come…)

Anyway, I wanted to spend Sunday relaxed and doing some work that needs tending. I did neither. Instead, I survived through a chaotic, unorganized, spontaneous day. The way I say this is as if I had lived through the zombie apocalypse. I did not, but now touching the subject, I kind of want to do a “What I Would Pack for the Zombie Apocalypse” blog. Highly unoriginal, but it sounds fun!

Back on topic! I expected a day much different than the one I lived. I do not regret this day, in fact, it was quite entertaining. The way things work in life makes for an exciting existence. Nothing much happened on this day, but I liked it. Time spent with loved ones is cherished.

I look forward to chaotic days, they seem rather intriguing.

(Oh, and I know my introduction was a little dramatic, but I like it that way, it’s not much fun writing about one thing throughout. I would rather touch upon different topics, coherent topics mind you, but different none the less. Perhaps a way to say certain things is by saying them differently. I do hope it worked!)

As a final note, I want to talk further about expectations and work, I want to deliberate further. It will be done sometime in the future. I look forward to it!

Small Update

        Lately, my frustration has come to it’s peak. For the past two days, I have been trying to upload a blog, but I simply cannot, I don’t know if there is an error with my computer or my internet service or whatever. I think it has to do with the internet, because when I tried to upload, it just wouldn’t load, and I tried reloading the page, which killed the page, and I lost everything. And being unable to upload frustrates me because I like to keep a schedule. I like to be on point, but this problem was out of my hands. Thankfully, I am now on track, and my frustration has ceased. I just hope it doesn’t come back, it clouds my mind and I feel uncomfortable. 

An Urge To Write

            I see better with words.

            I’m a firm believer that words are a source of power. I don’t say it because I am a writer. Rather, I say this because I have witnessed. There have been many times words were used for power, many examples that lead one to see clearly why words are so influential. Take a president’s words to his country. They carry weight, they carry importance, and they carry power. If the president were to say “we go to war”, then we go to war. (Mind you, I am not stating I am a political genius, I am far from it, but it is an example that came to mind.) Yes, influential men can bring about the course of action, but his words will embolden our spirits, or crush them completely.

            There are countless examples through the course of time. Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln. This list is so diverse, made up of men and women, heroes, legacies, I could never finish this blog, and I have not even begun the topic.

            I have an urge to write. It is a desire that keeps me together. I need to write, it is as consuming as my need to feed. Somewhat dramatic, but true none the less. I find that without writing, I do not stimulate my mind, and it brings boredom, desperation and lack of appetite for anything.  I feel lost in a world of black.

            I love writing. But it was not always so. Back when I was kid, I was horrible at school. Surprisingly, I always had good grades, not the best, but good. It’s is comforting to know that I was not some idiot bound for nothing but trouble. Aside from self-pity, it did not begin with writing. I lived reading. The first chapter book I finished from beginning to end was Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. I read the book in Spanish, and I was captivated by what I read. I then read The Chamber of Secrets and The Prisoner of Azkaban, in Spanish. I loved those books. Anyway, I learnt English by watching Harry Potter but I won’t give the series all the credit. I actually learnt more from watching The Two Towers on VHS on a daily basis for almost a year.

            But that is another story, another topic.

            I began writing a while ago. I always had an aptitude for creative writing, and I fared well with writing in general. And for a long time, I thought about The Crystal Tower. I wanted to write what I had in my mind. I tried several time, and each was unsuccessful. But at last, I had the premise, and the catalyst. Together, they helped me write my story. But that is also another story.

            Nowadays, I read constantly, and I write constantly. There are occasions when I need to do other things, I am a human being, but for me, there is nothing better than to sit and read something, or write something. It is an urge that I must follow.

Heart of Darkness

A short story independent of The Crystal Tower universe. A sole entry I hope you enjoy!

 

If mature in Darkness, then trustworthy is not,

But trust will get me nowhere…

If mature in Darkness, where there is no light,

Then guide me, you are Hope and I am blind.

 

The endless realm of Solitude.

Darkness…

Her eyes fought to find the light, the Hope she desperately needed. But the fight was futile, riddled in desperate attempts and fruitless endeavors. In the midst of that consuming dread, the harmony in her heart weakened with every heartbeat, and left it awash with sadness. A chaos that destroyed her sweet memories. Fear poisoned her essence.

In Darkness, where there is no Light, she stumbled to the ground and cried.

The salty taste of her tears was the catalyst that crumbled her desire to live. Such loneliness should not condemn any soul. The nature of such solitude was unknown to her. She knew only happiness, love. But like the shattering of glass, it all fell apart. Now, she remained in such void, where there was no past, present or future.

The girl lay, her tears never stalled, for an eternity. But after one eternity of such misery, she gave way to madness, her mind was lost, it would never come back. Her memories were gone, like burnt ashes that were swept by the wind. In the final eternity, she lost herself. She was no more.

And from the ashes that were her memories, there grew a presence. It matured in Darkness, and in Darkness remained. The Heart of Darkness awoke, the melody it was greeted brought forth an emotion it could not bear. It brought forth pain, a pain unlike any.

The presence took a step forward. “Why do you cry?” it asked in a voice that echoed, startling the lost soul.

“I no longer remember why I cry, I only remember the sorrow I feel,” the girl answered, now sitting on the ground.

The girl tried desperately to find the source of the voice, the presence that had spoken. A fear came forth, the unknown entity sat in front of the girl, seeing her features even in the dark. A most beautiful Angel sat before it.

“What are you?” the little girl asked.

“I was born from this Darkness and I heard you crying. It made my heart ache.”

“How can I trust you of you were born from that which I cannot escape?”

“Where do you want to escape?”

“I do not know.”

“Then take my hand, I am the Heart of Darkness, I am the memories you have forgotten.”

“But if you are memories, then you are no heart!”

“The heart keeps the greatest memories.”

“But you are Darkness, not Light!”

“Then trust will not be enough.”

“No,” the little girl answered.

She took the entities hand. If such memories matured in Darkness, then they were Hope.

“Is this trust?” the entity asked.

“No, you are hope, and I am blind.”

“Then I will guide you to the afterlife, and together, we can play games in paradise. You see the light?” the entity asked.

The little girl looked forward, and at a distance away, she found what she sought, she found the light.

She turned to the entity, a boy her age.

The boy smiled a sweet smile. “Your death will ache in your mother’s heart.”

The little girl smiled and nodded twice. She looked forward, and together, they walked to the Light, to play in paradise for all eternities combined.

Copyright © 2013 by Javier Duenes. All rights reserved. 

Regarding my Mythos

            The Evolution of Darkness.

            Long ago, I was captivated by an idea. Ten or so years. And they have been quite long. But not long enough. Why I say time has not been my greatest ally is because I want more time, I want to further explore the inner workings of my mind. I am so young, 19 may be a number high into someone’s life. But considering how much I have lived, it’s not so much. And when you consider how much you have to live overall, it’s not enough to live. So, time is not our ally.

            Regardless of the time I have lived, I couldn’t sit on the edge, waiting for the right time. For the perfect time to delve into my story. I couldn’t deal with bottling so much, I cannot. So, I started writing my book.

            But I don’t want to talk about time and bottled thoughts. No, I wanted to talk about my mythos.

            The Evolution of Darkness is a concept that intrigued me quite a lot. I have always admired darkness, the theme, the idea. So when it came to writing my book, I knew I wanted to portray my idea of darkness. I didn’t come up with my mythos before I started writing. I came up with the mythos once I had finished the book.

            But what is “The Evolution of Darkness”? Simply put, it is the battle that leads to the cleansing of sin. The Crystal Tower: Edelix is the begging of the battle against the Darkness, although I do not delve deeply into the mythology behind the idea. The Crystal Tower: Edelix is, per say, an introduction. I want to introduce several concepts, and leave loose ends. Those loose ends I have left are not relevant to the plot line of The Crystal Tower: Edelix. Rather, they are there because some things I cannot reveal just yet. It would compromise a great legend. Instead, these loose ends are minor, they are not noticed, and therefore, will not hinder the story. But there are some loose ends that have a greater impact. These loose ends are meant, and they are there because I want to tie them in the sequels.

            The Evolution of Darkness is something I believe to be astounding and rather intriguing. The whole tale is fixated on the idea that darkness is power, a power too great that can be the end of everything. But countering that darkness is light. I prefer darkness, however, but there must be hope, so there must be light. This battle is not only around Alex, the titular character in The Crystal Tower: Edelix, but in his heart as well. How this battle plays out is, for now, a mystery. And how this battle plays out around him, is the reason The Crystal Tower: Edelix is such fun. Some battles are over before they have begun, but some battles are so meaningful, the entire universe stands witness to the outcome. What that outcome will be…I have already decided.

The Angels That Left Us

beautiful-cross

This post is somewhat late, I’ve had it in my flash-drive for quite some time, however, the words I say remain as equal in passion as the night I wrote them.

I’ve been told that man do not cry. But how can I not when there are countless reasons to cry, maybe indefinite. My benign neglect to cry comes from those preaching’s, from those that have been ingrained on me by an idealist society. I say, why conform to society’s definition; why not break free from that norm? I will cry. And I will be the one to admit, I have cried.
Sometimes, the path we must take is filled with hardship, with obstacles, with obscene realities. But then again, are not all paths difficult? Endeavors for all of us to overcome. If a path if filled with turmoil, isn’t that path worth taking? I’ve heard the sky is clearer after the storm. Shouldn’t it apply to the paths we take? That once we emerge from those turbulent and obscure waters, we can see the bright light. The path will be difficult, so along the way, stop for a second, sit by a tree, and shed some tears, because shedding tears does not make us weak, it makes us stronger. And if we don’t shed tears, it doesn’t make us strong, it makes us heartless.
In lieu of recent events, the shooting in Connecticut, I’ve shed many tears, not as many as I should shed, but many none the less. The times we face are hard, they quell with our morale. That we remain strong is in our nature, we have always prevailed against injustice, tragedy, hardship. We are a great people, but we are also a society that crumbles on a daily basis. That we are falling apart is not far from my expectations, all greatness must end, so that greatness can start anew. But I refuse to resign my hopes, I will not give them up, because hope is the only reason I keep fighting, why I keep dreaming of a brighter day. We cannot allow hope to leave our hearts, because when we do, we release our essence, we release our will to move on. In these times, our will to move on is what will make us stronger. I know we can fight a little more, because that bright day is coming, and like all bright days, we will enjoy the warmth it brings, we will manage to remember the darkness that consumed us with bittersweet remorse, because from darkness, the light is born.
Sleep in peace, O angels that have left us.

The Cover That Almost Was

I had a change of heart, I think. I know that little saying “don’t judge a book by its cover”, but now, I think I will, just for once, because I really am that self-conscious.

My cover has the theme simplistic going on, it’s a great cover in my opinion, since the story deals so much with Darkness, it’s hard to think of anything else getting into it, I mean the cover is black for crying out loud. But I think I can relate Darkness in other forms. I will soon change the cover of The Crystal Tower: Edelix. It will retain the theme simplistic but to a lesser extent. I love the cover I have now, but I am judging the book by its cover, and I feel a change is for the best.

But enough of the update, I want to share the cover that almost was….

TADAAAA!

            Front Cover Finalised

It started as a cool idea. That is the best I can come up with, I know sad, but I am a guy! (My defense isn’t strong! By any means!)

The idea came to fruition. And it all was rainbows and sunshine.

Until doom spelled my downfall.

I was told that the character in the cover resembles Harry Potter a little too closely. I was adamant against the similarity, I mean, Harry Potter has a wand and only uses the sword of Gryffindor in the Chamber of Secrets and The Deathly Hallows. But for crying out loud, he did use a cloak for the longest! J.K. Rowling, thanks for making Harry human and prone to cold weather!

Anyway, I couldn’t use the cover. Harry Potter is a character known worldwide, and the similarity would only assure trouble. I didn’t want to get sued, so I discarded the concept with a heavy heart. A REALLY heavy heart, I think I cried some the night I decided to rid myself of the concept.

So, I tried several other concepts, none of which enthused me in the slightest.

Then came the dream… (Ominous, I know!)

I held The Crystal Tower: Edelix in my hands. It was hardcover, the jacket was all matte black, and the title was imbedded silver, and O it was beautiful! I woke up immediately and wrote of the concept on my iPhone notes.

I guess, now I realize that the current cover would work for the hardcover, the beauty in simplicity was breathtaking, it woke me up, but not so much with paperback. The reflective nature is bothersome, and it lacks that punch that the story has.

I guess this is all I have to say, tell me if you think the cover’s character resembles Harry Potter, I already know it does, but I should be flattered I look like Harry Potter, I am the one in the cover!

An Update!

This is a simple update, broken into several parts.

The first: When I wrote Elesliel part four, I neglected to focus entirely on editing, the reason being I have a most intriguing take that I want to tell, so I was unfocused. I regret it. there were some mistake, all of which have been corrected, so I apologize if you read the tale and found them, it is quite embarrassing to show errors, but at the same time, I am human and I am not an editor, I am a writer, first and foremost, the former comes second.  The fact that I was focusing on something else does not redeem the mistakes I made, it is an excuse, and I will not use excuses, no matter their validity in my mind, it is, and will always be, an excuse. (Yes, I am quite harsh on myself, but I am young and I need to learn, at whatever price.)

The second: I don’t believe I will post on Wednesday. There is no reason, I just wont. It does not mean that I won’t ever post on Wednesday, it is only this time.

The third: I will update all tales very soon to add drawings to them. I believe an artwork having to do with the tales will be a cool! I just need to get a better camera, which I can get very soon, I just need to finish the drawings.

The fourth: I will update the cover of The Crystal Tower: Edelix very soon. I want to post a concept on the fan page https://www.facebook.com/TheCrystalTowerEdelix

I don’t believe I have other updates, but if I do, I will make sure to keep you updated!

Oh, yeah! Elesliel’s journey had not come to an end! No updates on that as of yet, but expect more in the future!

Elesliel part four

Warning: While this story is independent from the plot line of The Crystal Tower: Edelix, it is recommended reading the book first, HOWEVER, you do not need to read the book first to enjoy this short insight. Remember, the first goal for these stories is to broaden the world and the mythos, and the second goal is to add content to the book.

              The storm had long been left behind, and the sky was almost clear as they rode through a verdant grassland. Elesliel knew they were almost close to the Kingdom of Aladar, that they needed to ride for at least seven hours to find themselves in the lush grassland that surrounded the Kingdom of Aladar. The land that surrounded the kingdom was said to be almost mysterious, that at some point, the beauty of the land before the kingdom appeared as if a new realm was suddenly accessed. It was of course, a legend. The Kingdom of Aladar was in the same realm as all other kingdoms on Edelix, but the magic of the crystals was vast and unknown, and the Kingdom of Aladar was known for its magnificent crystal moons, and how the kingdom was constructed alongside crystal creepers that rose from the ground. The energy and magic in the kingdom could, perhaps, cast some sort of magic that allowed the land to be so beautiful without known boundaries, and access to that beauty was never known because one never knew where such beauty began.

            But such magic was hard to understand, the power of the crystals was simply too grand to ever comprehend, especially for some elf, or any man.

            As the hours wore on, they came to notice the beauty of the land before them. None had the slightest idea when they had entered the land, but now that they had, they knew the kingdom of Aladar was closer than before. On the horizon, they noticed a hill that ran for quite a while. They could not see the kingdom yet, but Elesliel knew the kingdom would reveal itself once they were on the other side of the hill.

            He turned to his companions, nodding once to them. He then turned to his Horned Steed; “ride with haste, another night out here would not be in the best of interest for any of us.”

            The Horned Steed neighed, understanding, and hastened its step. The arduous endeavor was accepted fully by all three companions, they wanted to rest inside the walls of the kingdom, and so, they cared less that their backs hurt and their bones ached due to the fast riding.

            As they neared the hill, their bodies lost all interest in the pain that coursed through them. Instead, a shadow of terror seeped through their very veins, and made them tremble before the sight.

            Ten riders appeared aver the hill. Ten assassins that smiled their most cruel smiles.

            Elesliel had no idea what to do. He concentrated, stopped his Horned Steed, and grabbed his staff. His other two companions did likewise, and each took their weapons, readying for attack.

            The assassins rode forward. The three companions had only reached the base of the hill, before they stopped to face their opponents. They didn’t move further, they didn’t move back. As warriors and trained magicians of the Academy, they didn’t back down from enemies, else they would show cowardice, and cowardice had been something removed from their systems by their masters.

             “What is your business?” asked Elesliel, now focused. His terror long gone, replaced by anger.

            “You dare ask what our business is? You are no one!” answered one of the ten riders.

            “What I am or not, you are enemy. Unless your bidding is of aid to our king, then we will not see you as enemies. But if your bidding is for King Xious, then you are enemy, and we see you as a threat to our king.”

            “Very well spoken, young elf. Do not quarrel with us, you will not live. As our token of respect to your bravery, we will allow safe passage. In the end, you will die, but for now, enjoy the remaining days that my king has offered.”

            Elesliel knew he could not win the battle against ten foes, ten formidable foes. He was smart, he accepted their offer with a single nod.

            He turned to his companions. “Do not speak,” he finished, and they met his glare with rage. They made their way forward, leaving the assassins behind.

            “No cowardice greater than this have I ever shown!” said Alestair after traveling for quite a distance. They rode steady, the kingdom was in sight and the three sun’s were still casting their light.

            “I have learned from my master that cowardice is a disgrace to man and elf, that one should lay their life to their enemy if fighting with cowardice, because either way, you end your life. But he also thought me of intelligence. Our meeting was not but chance, they did not have a reason to kill us, and even though we do have reason, we are on a quest to do something that is beyond us. We could not fight them, it was not our battle to fight. They will find their end at the hands of our king’s allies, unfortunately, it is not our hands. What I was asked to do I could not compromise, too many lives would be at stake if I never joined the Kingdom of Aladar’s medical support. And hear me, we would have died. What little cowardice we have shown was for the better of the people, and we will bring about our redemption in battle, when we face our enemies and we defeat them in the name of our king.”

            Elesliel rode with haste, a tear rolled down his cheek. He would bear his shame, not having faced the assassins that were after his king was a disrespect to his beloved queen, but he knew the queen would have rather had him help save lives that were at stake. He had known her, she loved her people.

            He entered the wall of the Kingdom of Aladar, followed by his companions.

Copyright 2013 by Javier Duenes. All rights reserved.